Hate Just Begets More Hate

Or, how to be your own worst enemy!

Some people are just assholes. There’s no more tactful way to put it. All you have to do is encounter them once and that’s enough. One might aver that Mark Squires is such a man. He runs the bulletin board on Robert Parker’s website. And with ever such an iron fist. Great pains are taken there to underscore that this is Mark Squires’ bulletin board and not Robert Parker’s bulletin board, even though Parker posts on the board. If I was Bob, this isn’t such a bad idea, nobody likes guilt by association. Anyway, Squires loves to ban people from the board, usually for the crime of questioning Mssr. Parker or those who hew to his view of things, all under the guise of keeping discourse civil. On any bulletin board, some people deserve the boot. No doubt. But this dude truly relishes silencing dissent. Which is his right. Hey, it’s his board even if for years the link to the board from the website’s main page had a picture of a young Robert Parker on it and not a picture of Mark Squires! He’ll boot people for any reason. Poor ole Hanes got booted for a run-in with Squires that wasn’t even board related. Hanes simply responded to a group email sent by Hanes’s pal Arv Rao that was not sent out blindly via “BCC” and thus “spammed” Squires with undesired (undesirable?) email by responding to all. Squires responded in his usual turgid lawyerly fashion. See below for that fun exchange.

Let it be said that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, there are lots of people who think Hanes is an asshole. Sure, petty, craven shells of human beings. But people nonetheless. This disclaimer presented in the interest of egalitarian and high-minded fairness.

So, Hanes thought it would be fun to establish a “wall of shame” for all those banned from the Squires [sic] wine bulletin board. Naturally, Hanes is on the list. As is the chemical balance-challenged defender of trocken Riesling, Lyle Fass. Who else doesn’t get past the velvet rope? Read on!

And send Hanes the names of others banned or self-exiled so they may be justly immortalized!

Birbrair, Serge
Callahan, Robert
Einstein, Ric
Fass, Lyle
Feiring, Alice
French, Todd
Gregory, Rick
Hanes, Marc
Latner, Joshua
Manzi, Steve
McQueen, Michelle
Piatgorski, Greg
Plotnicki, Steve
Posner, Daniel
Skroback, Drew
Steinberger, Mike
Vejrum, Birger
Yaniger, Stuart

Let’s remember, though. Just because someone is banned does not mean that they are not an asshole too!

Self-Exiled (As Far As I Know!)
Lipton, Mark
Nelson, David
Williams, Nigel

Email Is Fun!
Original message sent by a personal friend to 28 people (including Hanes), again, not via “BCC” - sometimes this does happen, the Lord have mercy on the evil heart of the sender! Hanes, at the time of the writing, personally knew 17 of the recipients as well as the sender. Half of 28 is 14. 17 is a larger number than 14. This is IMPORTANT. Figure out why below.

The original message was just a simple link to a web article...

Re: do any of you remember "rare llc" ?

The article was about a wine swindler who got off with no jail time, promising to make restitution of the $11 million he bilked from his “customers.” Hanes “responds to all” with the jocular, black humor email response:

“Damn, why is it I bust my butt to make restitution and all I have to show for it at the end of the week is $1,000?


Obviously, Hanes would have proven a man of higher character and moral fiber were he a swindler and not an insidious spammer! Or he would not have received this response from the gentleman behind mark@marksquires.com:

“Please do not use the REPLY TO ALL button.....This email should not have gone out with so many names visible but if everyone keeps using reply to all the entire list gets spammed with personal chat.”

Moi? A spammer? I thought I was just sending an email. Next thing you know I am implicated with “personal chat”! Next time I’ll stick to basics and just provide the inside scoop on where to buy male enhancement products. But the gauntlet being thrown, pull rapiers all!

“Dear Mr. Squires:

I personally know virtually all of the recipients on this list and in fact had no problem with them receiving my response. Such was my *intent*. And I fully know the difference between responding to the sender and responding to all recipients. Your issue is with Mr. Rao for including you in the original email, please take this up with him. As always, you earn your reputation.

Best regards,

Marc Hanes”

Have at you white knight! The next edifying and friendly joust comes soon thereon:

“Sometimes reputations are deceptive. I made a simple and polite request. You insist on acting like a total asshole. SO be it.

For instance, you send me a message and then tell me you personally know everyone on the list. Well, you don’t know me. So, your presumed rationalization is clearly inaccurate. Ps. I thank God for that.

Nonetheless, even if you want to spam the rest of the list you can remove my name when you do so. Since you don’t in fact know me and that presumably was not your intent, contrary to the nonsensical message you sent me. So, in addition to misrepresenting the fact of knowing everyone on the list, you’re also not very bright.

Obviously, you don’t in fact understand the difference between reply and reply to all, or you wouldn’t spam to people who have no interest whatsoever and who you do not know.

Your story is inconsistent and makes no sense. You could, of course, have just said “sorry” and left it at that, but you have quite the reputation, I guess, and you insist on being an asshole. Good for you!”

Wait, where did Hanes say he knew “everyone” on the list? Hanes can take the insult of not making sense, but inconsistency? Prithee, nay! And I is brite! You can aks my grad school perfessors!

And so it goes when in dialogue with one of the most humorless, condescending dickheads walking this earth. Too bad in law school they did not teach what the qualifier does in the English language. To wit, the word “virtually.” This exchange resulted in my being banned from the bulletin board on erobertparker.com. I apologized to Arv, who is a cool dude. Didn’t want to get him in dutch with Mao. Thankfully, don’t think that was the case. I suspect I may not be intelligent enough to understand the full repurcussions of this exchange of messages. I am sure Mssr. Squires’ lawyers will explain it to me soon enough.

Back to top